Are you finding it difficult to love that one person who you feel hates you? Is your heart having trouble in finding a reason to love them? I know, sometimes finding a reason to love someone who hates you can be very difficult. The only perfect world where everyone will love you is heaven, and as long as we walk the dusts of this earth, there will always be someone who dislikes us in one way or the other. This world has a long journey yet to be made perfect.

At some point in life many of us try so much to love those whom we hate, however it turns out to be impossible, you know why? I believe that this is because we live in a world brimming with rude manners, selfishness and poor intentions; we've all been let down, manipulated, bullied or criticized. And when we are backstabbed, heart-broken or betrayed, it’s empowering to hate the people who have hurt us, and so many of us have fallen so much in such a line as this. Most of us have at least one hater in our lives. People who chose to be difficult and mean no matter how much grace, peace, hope, and love are offered and even with years of effort.

The Bible tells us that God’s will is for us to love other people with a godly love. We are called to “love your neighbour as yourself” (Luke 10:27) and even to “love your enemies, do well to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28).
It’s very important for us as true followers of Christ to remember that God loves those who hate us as much as He loves us, and he desires for us to reflect on that. He wants us to love them, even when there is no reason to loving them. He desires for us to have his kind of love for those who hate us. To overcome hate and implement love to those whom hate you may seem impossible, but with Christ inside us, it’s possible.

For me I don’t know if I have someone I hate, however if there is, then it must be the devil. Even when it comes to those who hate me, I can’t resist loving them, this is because I believe this is what God wants me to do ‘Love them’. Loving one another is one of the two greatest commandments that Christ left for us to follow, and I believe that loving others is actually doing the will of God which he has called us to, however there are times when we find it difficult to fulfill this commandment. There are times when we’re filled with rage and anger, and it becomes impossible to love each other. In some situations we only see hate as the only solution to hate; we tend to hate those who hate us.

So how can you love those who hate you? Here are the three steps I have learned in life, see if they can help you too,

Love them: Start by demonstrating a Christlike love. Love them as Christ has loved you in your transgressions. When we were still sinners Christ died for us because he loved us so much and he wanted us to enjoy an intimate relationship with Him. There is no greater love for an enemy or those whom hate us demonstrated as that of Christ dying for you and me on the Cross. If we want to enjoy a Christ like life then we have got to learn how to love others as He loved us to the extent of dying for us on the Cross. Realize that love is the answer

John 15:12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."
John 13:35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Forgive them: I know that we come to hate people because of the things they do or say to us. If you are hurt with what people say to you or do to you, the greatest way to overcome hate in such situations is by forgiving those who are doing those things to you. When people hate you, in Christ find a reason to love them. Forgive them for hating you. Christ was hated and persecuted; still he forgave those who did it. If you want to overcome hate, start by learning the power of forgiving others and letting go. Once you have done this, you will find yourself in love with all people, even those who you thought are impossible to love. When we forgive those who hate us, it brings us freedom. Forgiving releases our hearts from carrying around resentment and bitterness. In our lives we have done so many bad stuffs, but Christ has forgiven us and opened the doorway to heaven, we should do the same. If God hated us for all that we have done, I don’t think any of us would make it to heaven. I find it easy to love everyone though the power of forgiveness.

Here is what the bible says about forgiving others;

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Pray for them: Another thing you could do to love those who hate you is to pray for them. Pray for them so that the Lord might change their hearts. We can never be able to turn other people’s hearts unless it is done by Jesus Himself. Pray for God to give them a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus. Obviously, your persecutors need a greater revelation of Jesus, because the more we truly know Christ, the less we’ll allow the devil to influence our thoughts, words and deeds. Pray for God to root them and ground them in love. Pray for God to show them His will. Once your persecutor is rooted and grounded in love and understands God’s will, they will be more likely to repent. We are to turn to God when our enemy abuses us. We are to talk to God about this. We are to ask him to do something about this. Your prayers pave the way for you both to grow in the character of Christ as you guard your heart from bitterness.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:43-45).

Accept them: Those who hate us are humans, with their flaws and imperfections; sometimes all they need is acceptance. Nobody is perfect, and everyone deserves to live a better, more beautiful and loving life, accepting them leads to being accepted.  Christ died for us. He accepts us, loves us and continues to work in us to sanctify us; we should also learn to do the same to those who hate us. Understanding this truth will allow us to accept them as they are and trust in their positive side. Treating others with acceptance will be good medicine for those in your relationship circle, and good for you as well.

“Accept one another, then, as Christ has accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” (Romans 15:7).

Take time to show empathy: People who hate had a rough past. By understanding where they are coming from and by putting yourself in their shoes, you will come to see why they behave the way they do. When we look at a situation from only our own perspective or experience base, we risk assigning wrong motives or misinterpreting the feelings, actions, or reactions of others. When we seek to put ourselves in their shoes, we gain an understanding that often helps us be more patient and supportive of others.

So as you can see, if you embrace the above tips as I did, you’ll find every reason to love those who hate you. I have learned the importance of loving, forgiving, accepting and praying for those who hate me, and I believe that you can also do the same. You can love those who hurt you by following those simple tips.  When you try and the road gets tough, just remember that “You can do it all through him who gives you the strength” (Philippians 4:13) and if put your entire trust in Him, it will all come to you, just believe as He has promised in (Mark 9:23)

 I hope that this article will help and encourage you on this journey as you learn and practice to love those who hurt you.

Colossians 3:13 says, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

1 John 3:15 ‘’everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.’’

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